I was soon going to see the oncologist. It's another 2 weeks.
Unfortunately I am starting to get headaches. I also had a migrain on 2 seperate days. I know what this means. Panadol/Paracetamol does nothing. Steroids is the only answer but I have run out. Fortunately I have an old prescription which was still valid. I popped those steroids like candy. After a day or two, I got relief.
On the 20th Nov I was down for an MRI. This will pick up anything new. I went there, same place but new robes, paper ones, with a big gap on your arse or crotch depending which way you wear it. Lucky I was wearing underwear that day. (What a thought huh.) I lay on the slab for almost an hour trying not to move, even swallow. Then the 'medicine' ie contrast solution ie gadolinium then more waiting then I'm out. Fortunately paid for by tax dollars, I get some use out of my tax :) Wonder what it will show.
Today (25/11/10) the appointment with the oncologist. At the reception I saw a big wad of scans. It looked familiar and yes it was mine. The nurse gives it to me. I new that there is only bad news in there but I had to know, I take out the medical report. The first line says it all "Findings: Interval deterioration with bilateral cranial fossa and skull base tumor recurrence with infiltration of the left frontal lobe...". So it has returned and grown quickly and spread, cute. The doctor says yeah. You did know it wasn't going to cure you? We do more radio if you want, up to you. I say there's no choice. He says "there's always a choice". What happens if I don't do radio? "It will grow and you die." Great choice! So I say yeah, let's do radio. He says well the last radio was about a year ago and you responded well. So if this goes the same you get another year. You know this exercise is just to slow it down. However you may not be so lucky with your sight this time and the area will certainly be more fried.
I was booked for a mould and I left. Funny most of the patients here are old and yet I won't live to half their age.
It was then clear to me that I was not ever going to beat this thing and 5 years seems such an impossible dream to live to. So this will be my demise bar being run over by a truck. Khamar born Jan 1968 Dead from cancer 201x.
I wish I can have another life, live at another place, be another person but you only get one deck, one game of mahjong solitaire. When you see that you are not going to successfully complete the game, too bad.
