eye eye captain

Thursday.

I have to see the ophthalmologist as well as the radio treatment today but I will have to wait 2 hours for the eye appointment. Why don't they just call it the eye doctor rather than follow the latin language.

I give the appointment letter to the receptionist.She says you have 2 appointments today, 1 for the consultant and the other to the registrar. No wonder I got 2 letters. Never mind.

She didn't give me back the letter. It was lunch time. 30 minutes later the clinic door opened and we all went in. Everyone placed their card and letter in the box and I thought the receptionist would pass mine automatically as she had kept mine, nope. I was the last to be called after the nurse asked what I was doing here. System break down. I had guessed as much.

I knew I was going to have to read the eye chart and my eyes were blurry. I tried to relax and try to get them clearer but it was not to be. The left eye was blurry but I was able to read all the letters but the right eye was bad. Only half way through, what to do.

Then another wait to see the doctor, a loooong wait.

Finally it was my turn. I see the doc, mention the new growth, also mention the the double vision had gone when I looked up. He said that was good, so things are getting better? What can I say, calm before the storm?

He asks how do I take things, I say 1 day at a time. Do you have any questions? I ask how the radiation will affect the eyes, he says things will go dark. (Hmm the other doc says things will go white.) Guess it doesn't matter, I won't get to see things anyway. I can't remember if I asked how long till the radiation effects vision as I don't recall an answer for it. I think he did mention depending on how much dose was applied. Sounds like a politician, never the answer only excuses.

Well, see you in 2 months.

stones don't roll uphill

The nurses arrange to see the doctor the next day. I really wanted to mention my new neck growth and try to get it treated at the same time as the other neck growth before everything starts and cannot change. Fortunately the doctor says that it would be possible to alter the treatment area to include the new growth. The treatment was such that a large area is initially treated then it is narrowed around the growth after 2 weeks or so. She said they can alter that and keep the area wide.

I ask about the MRI scan I had on the 5th. She says that it's not here and ask where it was done. I say PRC. She calls them and say it will get here later. I really wanted to see the results as I had not taken my steroids for a couple of weeks and therefore either the tumour has shrunk or my brain has. But it was not to be and I will have to wait til next week.

treatment 2

It's treatment day for my second stint of radiotherapy. They say that my neck will be part of the treatment this time. Hope so. I also noticed that there is an additional growth under the growth in my neck. The neck growth is egg shaped and now there's a smaller one growing under it. Can't wait to see the doctor. I hope my scans have returned and he see's the new growth. Now I have to remind myself to ask.

I just read that soft drinks can cause pancreatic cancer. I was alarmed. I have been hooked on soft drinks lately. I better stop I might get cancer. Hmmm ... :)

a toast to old friends

I was taking in the garbage bin and I thought this would be a good opportunity to see if I can get Richard's phone number. He's an old school friend a few houses down from me.We went to school together but different class, played soccer and hockey together, went to my first under 18 disco with him and some friends, then later to night clubs. His mother greeted me then she called his father. I say hello, remember me? "What's your name?" "Kamal".

"Ohh Kamal, you look different." (17 years would do that)

"He's not here. He died in November, he got sick and passed away."

I don't believe it. I wanted to ask more but they were visibly still distressed so my curiosity will have to be satisfied another way.

His mother said that he was always thinking of me and would've love to have seen me again. Me too.

I just can't believe I just missed meeting him. He seemed healthier than me, so I assumed I had time.

This also happened to my best friend Frank, my soul mate. We were a yin and yan friendship, just like the Arnold and Danny movie "Twins". I was Arnold...only joking, he was Arnold and I was Danny. He had all the luck, the physique, the charm, the looks, I had the opposite. I was thinking of him and called. But there was no reply. Later I find out that he died, close to when I called. I just missed him too. We used to spend a lot of time wasting time. I often wondered about my future during some of those times. Now I know.

I'm now thinking what I have missed, what they were up to. I'll try to get in touch with other friends if possible (since it have been more than 17 years) to see what happened. I can't believe this is how things end. Till then..

Here's to old friends. May God have mercy on their souls and forgive their sins. Rest in peace.