Today they verify whatever they are going to do to me. I had a week to think about blindness. I have decided that I cannot accept blindness as an option.
If needs be it would be a death sentence anyways. I don't think I can live with blindness. I get into two machines, ones the CT scan with the mask and the other is like the radiotherapy machine with the mask. The mask was on for a while so when they take it off it left grooves in my face. When I went into the toilet to wash the calibration marks on my face, the impression looked like scales. I was the creature from the black lagoon! Maybe I will end up in a freak show, no sense of smell in one nostril, a hole in my base skull, blindness, maybe later deaf and no tongue.
The mask is to ensure that my head is in the same position every time to simplify being shot with radiation. I wonder if my titanium screws will absorb radiation?
I want to see the doctor. If there is no choice I will have to consider going overseas, Australia? Gamma knife in Singapore? If gamma knife can do something better (probably) then I would have to sell my house to pay for it.
Michael Jackson (or is it Mikheel) died a few days ago. Unbelievable. I guess no-one lives forever and one cannot be guaranteed of a long life even if you don't smoke, or drink, or womanise. Maybe it's not too late for all those things :D.
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