thursday (already)
No blood reaper. That's good.
Neuro comes in, hello then say how big our party is. He mentions that they are working on it and I will have to decide whether to operate when it is time.
A social worker also came in to see what they could do. Mentioned a social 'club' ie some social activity at the hospital like play games, exercise, etc. She also mentions social security help, I said no but later would like to know if there was anything that can help. Hope she can send someone who knows. I am penniless and could do with some handouts.
Later she came and mentioned the main,,,
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
kick in the guts
Today, wednesday 21 oct 2009 at SCGH. This is what the nurse asks when they check you, just in case you're dead and think you're in heaven....hell?
So what greets me this morning? The blood reaper! Mother! I was just bled yesterday. It's like nurturing a pet vampire. Let's see what happens tomorrow.
Today the doc comes in and say hello, how are you. You're gonna see the ENT today. Good. Then left. That's it.
So I wait...and wait.
A wheelchair comes in and I must be going somewhere. "CT scan." Dang, it wasn't what I was waiting for but CT is fast. So I go. I ask at the counter, contrast? One minute...no. Good, no needles.
Please lay here, you have a cannula? No, ok we'll put one. ??? Shit man I'm gonna get a needle. At least she poked the elbow, above the other needle mark where the girl took blood out yesterday. I better get used to it. Then it was the contrast, intrivis or something, and it was over, 10 minutes or so.
Later in the afternoon the doctor comes and indicate that it is time. Come with me. So I go, in a wheel chair. Why not, I was getting lazy, don't want to faint.
This is it, the neuro I can see what they can do but what will happen after surgery will depend on what the ENT will do. The ENT holds the key. The doc was out for lunch and I have to wait. The wait was bad. Finally "come in". He asks a few simple questions. The scope, down to the throat.
Then the bad news, the brain tumor is pretty big and connected, the nasal is a bigger mess. It's behind your nose, your right is obvious and starting to intrude into the left. The right eye orbit is infected and there is also some movement towards the left.
If ...IF we operate then you will lose your right eye to scoop the cancer (because it has infected the muscle), the inner nasal is going to be bombed and what is now a small hole will be huge. The left eye may go due to chemo or radio. Then the plastic must find some meat to shove into the mess. Then there's infection due to the amount of the construction work. Basically to remove it totally they will need to remove the front of my face. The operating theatre is going to be a party, neuro, ENT, eye and plastic surgeons, wonder if there will be chips, girls and nachos. That's if they operate. And the operation is just a trimming measure! Not a cure. So wednesday was off.
Fuck (for short of a better word).
Jahanam! (a better word)
During the night a plastic surgeon touched based. Basically just an intro and she said they can't do/say anything until they know what's going to happen. I say I don't know what to ask until I know what they are going to do. So I wait, again.
So what greets me this morning? The blood reaper! Mother! I was just bled yesterday. It's like nurturing a pet vampire. Let's see what happens tomorrow.
Today the doc comes in and say hello, how are you. You're gonna see the ENT today. Good. Then left. That's it.
So I wait...and wait.
A wheelchair comes in and I must be going somewhere. "CT scan." Dang, it wasn't what I was waiting for but CT is fast. So I go. I ask at the counter, contrast? One minute...no. Good, no needles.
Please lay here, you have a cannula? No, ok we'll put one. ??? Shit man I'm gonna get a needle. At least she poked the elbow, above the other needle mark where the girl took blood out yesterday. I better get used to it. Then it was the contrast, intrivis or something, and it was over, 10 minutes or so.
Later in the afternoon the doctor comes and indicate that it is time. Come with me. So I go, in a wheel chair. Why not, I was getting lazy, don't want to faint.
This is it, the neuro I can see what they can do but what will happen after surgery will depend on what the ENT will do. The ENT holds the key. The doc was out for lunch and I have to wait. The wait was bad. Finally "come in". He asks a few simple questions. The scope, down to the throat.
Then the bad news, the brain tumor is pretty big and connected, the nasal is a bigger mess. It's behind your nose, your right is obvious and starting to intrude into the left. The right eye orbit is infected and there is also some movement towards the left.
If ...IF we operate then you will lose your right eye to scoop the cancer (because it has infected the muscle), the inner nasal is going to be bombed and what is now a small hole will be huge. The left eye may go due to chemo or radio. Then the plastic must find some meat to shove into the mess. Then there's infection due to the amount of the construction work. Basically to remove it totally they will need to remove the front of my face. The operating theatre is going to be a party, neuro, ENT, eye and plastic surgeons, wonder if there will be chips, girls and nachos. That's if they operate. And the operation is just a trimming measure! Not a cure. So wednesday was off.
Fuck (for short of a better word).
Jahanam! (a better word)
During the night a plastic surgeon touched based. Basically just an intro and she said they can't do/say anything until they know what's going to happen. I say I don't know what to ask until I know what they are going to do. So I wait, again.
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