Without the urine bag I had 1 bag left. The CSF lumbar drain bag. This meant that I can have more mobility. I wasn't about to take a shower for fear that the lumbar drain might get infected, after all, this is poking into my spine. Mr cheang came around asking if I had any CSF leakage from my nose, I said no. The lumbar drain had been blocked for a while so if it were to leak I would have. So he says that it should be ok to remove the drain. I was not too keen on this as if it were to leak again puting that thing back in must be agony and not to mention dangerous. I wasn't too keen on anyone buggering around in my spine. But it was to go. On the bright side the sooner it goes the sooner I go home. Then he checked my calf and thigh muscles. He said when I get home I should do some exercises. Who me? I was fit as a fiddle. Did the exercises before being warded.
So it was to go. Dr thinnesh had the privilege of doing it. So I go to the treatment room to get it out. I laid on the bed so I couldn't see how they did. I felt some stinging feeling. Don't know if there was something strong holding it. Then one more sting to get the needle out and that was it. I was FREE! He then sprayed something probably antibacteria or something.
I was now able to move around, shower, poo etc. (I was wearing diapers all this while and I had been avoiding heavy foods to avoid soiling my daipers. There was no way I was going to poo in diapers.) I then realise what the doctor meant. My muscles had atrophied. I couldn't even squat. Damn. This is gonna take a while to recover. No wonder he said I will need to exercise. What a burden.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
no bags please
don't know why I am having so much trouble with accessing google and yahoo. Publishing blogs is also a problem. This popped up after I did an update on OSX. I'm sure something bad happened or have my ISP given be the finger? Also the date on my pc screwed up because the cmos battery went down, can my certificates have any effect?
To continue it was time to remove the urine bag, including the tube. This is a good thing, it means I am closer to going home but I have heard stories from the ward that this is going to be an experience. One guy mentioned how painful it was to remove but said it depended on whether the balloon was deflated and who was doing it. There was also the post removal. One guy said that it was painful to urinate (excruciating actually). I've had painful urination before, the burning sensation and it IS excruciating. Urination is not an off on thing, once it comes out it gushes for a while and is difficult to quell.
Well I have no choice just trainees are going to do it! I ask them whether they have done this before, they said yeah. That's reassuring, but how pleasant is this going to be?
I take off my standard issue pants, actually this will be the first time I will have seen it because all this time I have not looked at it. I was surprised that the tube seemed relatively large for the hole that it was going into. Poor thing. Morning glories are also uncomfortable, I have to think about unpleasant things to deflate it. I do feel a tingling at the end of my 'willie'. I know what that means. Wonder if they talk about peoples sizes later in private? You know fred astaire was small but he can dance! Anyways she took a syringe and said she was going to deflate the balloon. Balloon? What the hell is a balloon doing in my bladder? Then I noticed a branch in the tube where the syringe goes. Interesting. Well she sucked all the water out of the balloon via the access tube. Then signalled she was about to remove the tube. I ask if it will hurt, she says no but adds take a deep breath. Huh? That usually mean pain. Well, what can I do? She was gonna pull it and there was nothing I can do. So she starts pulling, it wasn't painful, rather smooth but uncomfortable. The tip passed some sensitive places, the prostate, the G spot, the perineum, etc. It WAS uncomfortable. Can't imagine this tube going in although I have heard my bed neighbour getting it and sounded like it was irritating and painful.
Then it was out. It was long! Oh well it's out now and hope it's the last I'll see of it. The tip did have something like a deflated balloon at the end of it. Now I have the choice of going to the toilet and let some out probably painfully but a little or I wait as long as I can later and let the tip of my willie recover but it's gonna gush uncontrollably. I took the latter option, it's a chance. So that night I had to go, I couldn't hold it back any longer. Thoughts of agony from other 'users' crossed my mind so I try a little as best as I can and felt painless, so I let it all out, relieved like you wouldn't believe.
To continue it was time to remove the urine bag, including the tube. This is a good thing, it means I am closer to going home but I have heard stories from the ward that this is going to be an experience. One guy mentioned how painful it was to remove but said it depended on whether the balloon was deflated and who was doing it. There was also the post removal. One guy said that it was painful to urinate (excruciating actually). I've had painful urination before, the burning sensation and it IS excruciating. Urination is not an off on thing, once it comes out it gushes for a while and is difficult to quell.
Well I have no choice just trainees are going to do it! I ask them whether they have done this before, they said yeah. That's reassuring, but how pleasant is this going to be?
I take off my standard issue pants, actually this will be the first time I will have seen it because all this time I have not looked at it. I was surprised that the tube seemed relatively large for the hole that it was going into. Poor thing. Morning glories are also uncomfortable, I have to think about unpleasant things to deflate it. I do feel a tingling at the end of my 'willie'. I know what that means. Wonder if they talk about peoples sizes later in private? You know fred astaire was small but he can dance! Anyways she took a syringe and said she was going to deflate the balloon. Balloon? What the hell is a balloon doing in my bladder? Then I noticed a branch in the tube where the syringe goes. Interesting. Well she sucked all the water out of the balloon via the access tube. Then signalled she was about to remove the tube. I ask if it will hurt, she says no but adds take a deep breath. Huh? That usually mean pain. Well, what can I do? She was gonna pull it and there was nothing I can do. So she starts pulling, it wasn't painful, rather smooth but uncomfortable. The tip passed some sensitive places, the prostate, the G spot, the perineum, etc. It WAS uncomfortable. Can't imagine this tube going in although I have heard my bed neighbour getting it and sounded like it was irritating and painful.
Then it was out. It was long! Oh well it's out now and hope it's the last I'll see of it. The tip did have something like a deflated balloon at the end of it. Now I have the choice of going to the toilet and let some out probably painfully but a little or I wait as long as I can later and let the tip of my willie recover but it's gonna gush uncontrollably. I took the latter option, it's a chance. So that night I had to go, I couldn't hold it back any longer. Thoughts of agony from other 'users' crossed my mind so I try a little as best as I can and felt painless, so I let it all out, relieved like you wouldn't believe.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
customer not patient
when you sign the release form you become a patient ie a slab of meat that can be punitively handled. However patients should be regarded as customers as their power to complain carries weight and will affect the 'business'.
When in this context all customer facing profession suffer from complacency. Not just hospital staff. They sometime require a refresher course on customer handling, perception and empathy.
Sometimes some staff are use to their work that they forget to ask the patient whether they have experienced what they are about to do ie wash the throat. Sometimes they seem to be in a hurry, I'm not going anywhere, I'm a captive audience. Sometimes I feel like a piece in a factory, I get worked on as fast as can be by the operators and then the next procedure.
The nurses on practical are good as they are less experienced so they listen more.
Oh well the best that I can say is to be prepared when going to hospital. Reading other peoples account or talking to someone who has hospital experience will help prepare for ones time in hospital and reduce the surprises.
When in this context all customer facing profession suffer from complacency. Not just hospital staff. They sometime require a refresher course on customer handling, perception and empathy.
Sometimes some staff are use to their work that they forget to ask the patient whether they have experienced what they are about to do ie wash the throat. Sometimes they seem to be in a hurry, I'm not going anywhere, I'm a captive audience. Sometimes I feel like a piece in a factory, I get worked on as fast as can be by the operators and then the next procedure.
The nurses on practical are good as they are less experienced so they listen more.
Oh well the best that I can say is to be prepared when going to hospital. Reading other peoples account or talking to someone who has hospital experience will help prepare for ones time in hospital and reduce the surprises.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
It's uplifting to have friends
My first non relative visitor was Mr O my former boss. He always has a story to tell and is never short of anything to say. He's a little like Santa but with a black beard. It was good to joke around with him.
Then came M and L my former workmates. We joked around I said that they took out the tumor but left the brain :). They tried to get me to do soduku I said that that's going to destroy my brain. I have never been able to complete even once soduku but I'll give it a try. Unfortunately the cleaners took the paper, sorry guys :).
Then tengku N came. I couldn't believe he managed to come and visit as I didn't know him that well. But this guy is always uplifting even in hectic times so it was good to get some encouragement from him. He said get well soon we need you. That was good to know because at this point I was about 4 months out of service ie no income. And it would be good to have something lined up when I get out. I should mention that I am a freelance IT consultant so my income is never guaranteed and definitely never on time.
Finally Mr and wife E came to visit also. He's also my former boss. Being in the IT industry does not provide income security as IT companies come and go overnight. I have been in 3 companies that has money problems. Not my fault. Oh well they came and we talked about the tumor and this and that.
My visitors brought fruits, cookies and biscuits. As I was still on a soft food diet The fruits were eaten first then later the others. So If you are visiting a friend in hospital and you don't know their dietary status, fruits would be the best choice. My preference grapes (comes in bite size pieces no waste), mango (nice sweet but need a knife), watermelon or any melon (but require a knife also), oranges (have high citrous acid content, so get sweet ones), etc. Then anything else.
Never bring live plants ie flowers. You don't know whether they are asthmatic. I was a little worried that someone would bring live flowers as I would've started coughing if the pollen count was high.
I have to say I'm blessed to have some friends who are the nicest people you'll ever meet. Imagine they drove @270km plus toll plus petrol plus time just to see me. Thanks guys.
Then came M and L my former workmates. We joked around I said that they took out the tumor but left the brain :). They tried to get me to do soduku I said that that's going to destroy my brain. I have never been able to complete even once soduku but I'll give it a try. Unfortunately the cleaners took the paper, sorry guys :).
Then tengku N came. I couldn't believe he managed to come and visit as I didn't know him that well. But this guy is always uplifting even in hectic times so it was good to get some encouragement from him. He said get well soon we need you. That was good to know because at this point I was about 4 months out of service ie no income. And it would be good to have something lined up when I get out. I should mention that I am a freelance IT consultant so my income is never guaranteed and definitely never on time.
Finally Mr and wife E came to visit also. He's also my former boss. Being in the IT industry does not provide income security as IT companies come and go overnight. I have been in 3 companies that has money problems. Not my fault. Oh well they came and we talked about the tumor and this and that.
My visitors brought fruits, cookies and biscuits. As I was still on a soft food diet The fruits were eaten first then later the others. So If you are visiting a friend in hospital and you don't know their dietary status, fruits would be the best choice. My preference grapes (comes in bite size pieces no waste), mango (nice sweet but need a knife), watermelon or any melon (but require a knife also), oranges (have high citrous acid content, so get sweet ones), etc. Then anything else.
Never bring live plants ie flowers. You don't know whether they are asthmatic. I was a little worried that someone would bring live flowers as I would've started coughing if the pollen count was high.
I have to say I'm blessed to have some friends who are the nicest people you'll ever meet. Imagine they drove @270km plus toll plus petrol plus time just to see me. Thanks guys.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
home sweet home
Back at the ward, No neck IV, no leg IV nothing in the mouth. Just the brain drain and the wee-wee tube.
After 3 days the tip of my tongue was numb and with all the tubes in my mouth my vocals was such that I can't speak at a low volume. It only kicked in after a certain volume. I was allowed to eat but only 'soft' foods like jelly, fruits, things that is easily digestible. The nurse said that this is because after the long absence of eating I might vomit. OK. I see what looks like candy with my relative and I ask the wife for a pinch of it just to sweeten the mouth. Then my brother in law S comes across and say he can't eat that, relatively loud. Wonder how many heard it. "HE should eat soft food like jelly, I'll go see downstairs" he says. Ok go I thought jelly is better than nothing. So he goes and comes back with what, nuts and candy! I'm thinking you loudly say no solids so everyone can hear and what did you bring back? Man please let me out of this damn bed so I can get it myself. But the lumbar drain's bag and the urine bag was more than I want to carry around.
Each day I get 4 lollies from the nurses, straight into the IV line. 2 big needles and 2 small. The small is usually painless but the 2 big ones represent a lot more volume into the veins. What I didn't know was that each IV line has a limited life. 3 days is standard but with the 2 big needles wear the veins out faster so 2 days is the best life you get out of 1 IV. The IV on my right hand was 4 days old. On the third day it was already hell on the 4th it was unbearable. The pain was like having someone cut your veins with a knife and your whole forearm was also aching like you wouldn't believe. I couldn't take it I just said I wanted oral tablets and that's it. By this time my lollies had been switched to oral but was told that the antibiotic still had to be injected.Woohoo relief at last, I thought the antibiotic was the small needle but when the nurse came for the injection it was the big one. Let me die... god get me outta here! She didn't even manage to put much in.
I then tried to get my hands on a doctor to change the antibiotic to oral. Alas the doctor said the top 5 antibiotics were only available as injectibles. I said that it hurt like you wouldn't believe. He then tried to flush the line ie inject water or something and I said that yep it hurts bad. Then he said that its time for another line. Damn I hate that thing but it would hurt much less than the traumatised vein that I have now.
Next morning around 6:30 am the nurse came with my lolly. I said let's give it a go on the new line, it should be ok. And it was, just felt the coolness of the liquid pour in, as room temperature was colder than body temperature. Thank almighty god.
After 3 days the tip of my tongue was numb and with all the tubes in my mouth my vocals was such that I can't speak at a low volume. It only kicked in after a certain volume. I was allowed to eat but only 'soft' foods like jelly, fruits, things that is easily digestible. The nurse said that this is because after the long absence of eating I might vomit. OK. I see what looks like candy with my relative and I ask the wife for a pinch of it just to sweeten the mouth. Then my brother in law S comes across and say he can't eat that, relatively loud. Wonder how many heard it. "HE should eat soft food like jelly, I'll go see downstairs" he says. Ok go I thought jelly is better than nothing. So he goes and comes back with what, nuts and candy! I'm thinking you loudly say no solids so everyone can hear and what did you bring back? Man please let me out of this damn bed so I can get it myself. But the lumbar drain's bag and the urine bag was more than I want to carry around.
Each day I get 4 lollies from the nurses, straight into the IV line. 2 big needles and 2 small. The small is usually painless but the 2 big ones represent a lot more volume into the veins. What I didn't know was that each IV line has a limited life. 3 days is standard but with the 2 big needles wear the veins out faster so 2 days is the best life you get out of 1 IV. The IV on my right hand was 4 days old. On the third day it was already hell on the 4th it was unbearable. The pain was like having someone cut your veins with a knife and your whole forearm was also aching like you wouldn't believe. I couldn't take it I just said I wanted oral tablets and that's it. By this time my lollies had been switched to oral but was told that the antibiotic still had to be injected.Woohoo relief at last, I thought the antibiotic was the small needle but when the nurse came for the injection it was the big one. Let me die... god get me outta here! She didn't even manage to put much in.
I then tried to get my hands on a doctor to change the antibiotic to oral. Alas the doctor said the top 5 antibiotics were only available as injectibles. I said that it hurt like you wouldn't believe. He then tried to flush the line ie inject water or something and I said that yep it hurts bad. Then he said that its time for another line. Damn I hate that thing but it would hurt much less than the traumatised vein that I have now.
Next morning around 6:30 am the nurse came with my lolly. I said let's give it a go on the new line, it should be ok. And it was, just felt the coolness of the liquid pour in, as room temperature was colder than body temperature. Thank almighty god.
departures are delayed
I guess I stayed another night. The feeder tube which was in my mouth magically got swallowed. So more staring and sleeping. Man the boredom is agony, sleep time.
The nurse say that if I can swallow I can get the tube removed. I took my time but then I think the sooner I do this the sooner I can go. So I say ok give it to me. She gave me a straw but my lips were so dry I couldn't suck anything and my tongue was dry preventing me from wetting my lips. Eventually I managed to get a bit in, allowing me to wet my lips. After that I managed to swallow more, it was sweet, milo she says. Didn't taste like milo but who cares. She says good.
She says first you have to swallow some water and then milk. Ok better than nothing. Up to this point I had nothing to eat since thursday night's mandatory fast. But through the tube. So I won't taste anything it'll just appear in the gut. I'm lactose intolerant and I'm thinking this will finally cause me to poo in those diapers down there. God please no. I ask if the milk is lactose free. She says yes then say soya. Good. So in it went. The tube felt cold so it must be going in. It felt like the tube was just at th end of the throat abd might gall out. Tried to keep it in so I don't get a mouthfull of pumped milk. I forgot that I should also burp. This caused some gas to get stuck. Man it was gastric agony. But they have another magic injection for that too. Man These people in ICU are injection crazy, once you have an IV line they sure make use of it. So I can swallow and my reward was the removal of the tube. Will this be real freedom? She says just relax and let the tube make its way out. OK. She then pulls it out. It was long! Sure didn't have to worry about it falling out.
An ENT doctor was there this morning and she came over and said I had a nasal plug and had to get it removed on Tuesday. She showed me this plastic popsickle thing, saying this was pressing against the wound to stop the bleeding. I thought I had a hole in the bridge of my nose and the string was protruding. Man the plastic was big and I thought it had to go through this hole because there was a bandage there, Man its gotta hurt. Will they cut to reopen the hole? I'm thinking why can't they just give me surgey and then let me out. Why these extra things. Now this thing is giving me nightmares.
Later in the day they must've gotten sick of me and sent me back to the ward. At last freedom. I thought since there was no doctor I would still be in ICU but I was going back. What a relief because this represented a bit more degrees of freedom. My advice to anyone who can choose the operation date, NEVER have an operation on friday. Doctors don't work on weekends although they are on call. So they can't check up on you unless they come in for the sake of it. And this weekend was a long weekend! 3 days no doctor. However on Monday Mr Cheang did come in to check up on me. That was good.
The nurse say that if I can swallow I can get the tube removed. I took my time but then I think the sooner I do this the sooner I can go. So I say ok give it to me. She gave me a straw but my lips were so dry I couldn't suck anything and my tongue was dry preventing me from wetting my lips. Eventually I managed to get a bit in, allowing me to wet my lips. After that I managed to swallow more, it was sweet, milo she says. Didn't taste like milo but who cares. She says good.
She says first you have to swallow some water and then milk. Ok better than nothing. Up to this point I had nothing to eat since thursday night's mandatory fast. But through the tube. So I won't taste anything it'll just appear in the gut. I'm lactose intolerant and I'm thinking this will finally cause me to poo in those diapers down there. God please no. I ask if the milk is lactose free. She says yes then say soya. Good. So in it went. The tube felt cold so it must be going in. It felt like the tube was just at th end of the throat abd might gall out. Tried to keep it in so I don't get a mouthfull of pumped milk. I forgot that I should also burp. This caused some gas to get stuck. Man it was gastric agony. But they have another magic injection for that too. Man These people in ICU are injection crazy, once you have an IV line they sure make use of it. So I can swallow and my reward was the removal of the tube. Will this be real freedom? She says just relax and let the tube make its way out. OK. She then pulls it out. It was long! Sure didn't have to worry about it falling out.
An ENT doctor was there this morning and she came over and said I had a nasal plug and had to get it removed on Tuesday. She showed me this plastic popsickle thing, saying this was pressing against the wound to stop the bleeding. I thought I had a hole in the bridge of my nose and the string was protruding. Man the plastic was big and I thought it had to go through this hole because there was a bandage there, Man its gotta hurt. Will they cut to reopen the hole? I'm thinking why can't they just give me surgey and then let me out. Why these extra things. Now this thing is giving me nightmares.
Later in the day they must've gotten sick of me and sent me back to the ward. At last freedom. I thought since there was no doctor I would still be in ICU but I was going back. What a relief because this represented a bit more degrees of freedom. My advice to anyone who can choose the operation date, NEVER have an operation on friday. Doctors don't work on weekends although they are on call. So they can't check up on you unless they come in for the sake of it. And this weekend was a long weekend! 3 days no doctor. However on Monday Mr Cheang did come in to check up on me. That was good.
please take me back to the ward
I am still in ICU and with this tube in my mouth. My tongue has been dry for ages.
All I do is stare at the ceiling and sleep. There is nothing. Should've bought a dilbert book.
I'm thinking when will I ever get back to the ward. I can't remember if I stayed another night (Monday) or I was to go back today (Sunday).
I remember getting the neck cleaning treatment. I can hear them do this from one patient to another all day long, initially I thought it was a massage but that would be too good. Now it was my turn again and my lip was still getting caught. I try to make hand signals but I was not getting through. She was more concerned about her sterile hands "don't touch the hands it's sterile". But at last I get the pen and paper and show what I was trying to say. Finally they understand and agreed to check my lip before lifting. I was relieved for our next encounter. But it was not be because I was to have the tube removed.
I hear someone say I get the tube removed today. I was ecstatic. It was time. They remove the connector to the machine. Woohoo. Then the nurse say don't fight it. Hey I aint gonna do that, I want it gone so I can speak, complain. When she pulled it out you can't help but fight, it was like vomitting and choking. But who cares keep going damn it. It was a long sucker. At last I was free! but as soon as one tube got removed she throws this other tube like throwing a fishing line over the side of a boat! What the ... I just got my freedom and this other thing comes in. I point to the tube and the nurse say no no no it aint gonna go yet. Huh? I ask what it was she says a feeder tube. My tongue is gonna be dry for a bit longer. Man I can't believe this.
My back was getting itchy. Itchy as hell but there was bandaging there. The nurse noticed and asked if it itches. I said sure do. The she says I have magic liquid for that and proceeded to inject me with it. Still itched though but later not so much.
All I do is stare at the ceiling and sleep. There is nothing. Should've bought a dilbert book.
I'm thinking when will I ever get back to the ward. I can't remember if I stayed another night (Monday) or I was to go back today (Sunday).
I remember getting the neck cleaning treatment. I can hear them do this from one patient to another all day long, initially I thought it was a massage but that would be too good. Now it was my turn again and my lip was still getting caught. I try to make hand signals but I was not getting through. She was more concerned about her sterile hands "don't touch the hands it's sterile". But at last I get the pen and paper and show what I was trying to say. Finally they understand and agreed to check my lip before lifting. I was relieved for our next encounter. But it was not be because I was to have the tube removed.
I hear someone say I get the tube removed today. I was ecstatic. It was time. They remove the connector to the machine. Woohoo. Then the nurse say don't fight it. Hey I aint gonna do that, I want it gone so I can speak, complain. When she pulled it out you can't help but fight, it was like vomitting and choking. But who cares keep going damn it. It was a long sucker. At last I was free! but as soon as one tube got removed she throws this other tube like throwing a fishing line over the side of a boat! What the ... I just got my freedom and this other thing comes in. I point to the tube and the nurse say no no no it aint gonna go yet. Huh? I ask what it was she says a feeder tube. My tongue is gonna be dry for a bit longer. Man I can't believe this.
My back was getting itchy. Itchy as hell but there was bandaging there. The nurse noticed and asked if it itches. I said sure do. The she says I have magic liquid for that and proceeded to inject me with it. Still itched though but later not so much.
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